Out of Body Experience
by unnamedconspirator
Summary: Something strange is happening to the staff at SGH. Meredith wakes up after her usual one night stands and finds out she's in Derek's body. But who is in her body? It's freaky friday Greys Anatomy style, affecting more than our favorite couple. Mid season 2. A humorous romp as everyone tries to get back to themselves. MAGIC and the rest of season 2 main cast.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** I shouldn't be doing this... I have enough going on. Really. Another story? But you know when you have an idea and you can't get it out of your head and it keeps bothering you and nagging you and you can't sleep? Well this is one of those. Besides its a humorous break from all the angst I've been writing lately.

 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing...

Enjoy!

Late season 2 after thanksgiving episode.

Meredith sighed heavily in her sleep and rolled over, her hand falling on the other body. Wait, what? She did it again, another boy in her bed. "Crap." she muttered. Would she ever get over him? Probably not. She was so screwed. Now she'd have to do the speech. Oh, what a hangover. Why did her face feel weird?. She pushed herself up on her elbows. "Okay," she whispered to the body beside her, "I'm gonna take a shower, and when i get back, youll be gone so..."

The covers rustled "Der... What are you talk-"

"Ahhh!" Meredith screamed when she saw who was in her bed. "Aaaadison-Montgomery-Shepherd!" Meredith groped for a bedsheet to cover herself. "Wha-what are you doing here?" she asked, looking around. How did she end up at his trailer, with Addison of all people?

Addison sat up, "Really, Derek? What are you playing at now, because we just had really great sex, and-"

"Derek? We?" Meredith squeaked, standing up although there was something wrong with her throat, and her skin was itchy all over. And she felt strange, like she was wearing tights that didnt fit in the spots they were supposed to. She looked down.

First thing, where were her boobs? And since when did she wear boxers? And what was...

Oh Crap!

"Bathroom," she stuttered jerking a thumb toward it as she glanced at Addison, "Im gonna- bathroom-alone."

As she stumbled there, she heard Addison mutter, "Oh, so we have great sex and now you act like a teenager. Sheesh."

She slammed the door and tried not to hyperventilate. "Ok... This is just a bad dream..." she took a deep breath and breathed in and out. God, even breathing felt different. She squeezed her eyes closed and thought, this is a dream, just a dream... But when she opened her eyes, Derek Shepherd stared back at her from the mirror.

"Crap," Meredith said. She touched her face, rubbed it, pulled on it, but no matter what she did, Mcdreamy looked back at her, all stubble-y and handsome.

What the freak was going on?

Xxx

Meredith (in Mcdreamy's body,) tore through seattle to get to her house. Something was seriously wrong... Wrong wrong wrong. But a part of her thought that logically if she was in Derek's body than Derek might be in hers... Which was even weirder to think about, but...

She jumped out of Derek's huge suv and scrambled up the steps to her house. She just had to know. The door was locked but she always had a spare lying aroud. She felt around under the old swing for a key and then sprung inside.

It was still early and the house quiet. She recalled Izzie and Alex working last night which was good because... Well because. She bounded up the stairs. "Derek? I mean, Meredith? I mean-"

She stopped when she heard herself scream. Uh oh.

A commotion ensued from her room. voices... Someone she didnt recognize and her own confused frightened angry voice...

Suddenly the door to her room burst open and a man ran out, "Sorry... I sorry- I-" he said, picking up his shirt and doing up his fly.

Oh God.

Meredith stepped into her room. "Derek?" she called

"Ahh!"

It's one thing to look at yourself in the mirror, it's completely different to see yourself in person. Especially if that person isnt really yourself. Herself? Whatever.

Meredith watched painfully as 'Meredith' dove to the other side of the bed, covering up with blankets.

"Dr Shepherd!" 'Meredith' said, "I, uh umm. Oh God oh God oh God..." There was a loud _thunk_ and a _crash_ as she fell off the bed, causing the lamp to fall off the night stand. "This is a really bad dream right? Did I drink last night? Too much brandy?" she looked down at herself and turned bright red. She ran a shaking hand through her hair and pulled it in front of her. "I'm in Meredith's body? I-" She looked up in shock, "Dr. Shepherd? Oh, no... Dr. Shepherd you shouldn't be here..."

"Dr Shepherd?" Meredith asked, coming to the realization that Derek wasn't in her body. "You're not... Me?"

"Huh?" The her that was her but not her said, "Look, this is going to sound really weird, but you're a world renowned neurosurgeon, and maybe you can tell me what's happening. I'm not Meredith...I'm George."

Crap. "Crap."

George blinked. Because Dr. Shepherd doesn't say words like 'crap.' "What?" he asked.

Meredith looked away because it was hard to process that George of all people was inhabiting her body. Freaking George!

"Well..." she said, crossing her arms. "I'm not Der- Dr. Shepherd, I mean in body anyway... I'm you. I mean me. I mean I'm Meredith. In Dereks body."

"Wh-What?"

"Yeah." She came in and sat on the bed. If she was George than who was in George's body? And who was Derek? This was way too freaky friday even for her dark and twisty self.

"Meredith?" George asked.

"Yeah?"

"I think you had too much tequila," he mumbled as he stumbled off to the bathroom.

Well at least she didnt have to worry about that.

Okay, this was really freaking her out. She had to call her person.

 **A/N:** More to come... Any guesses who is in who's body? Please Review! Ah, I miss George.


	2. Chapter 2

"Meredith..." Derek whispered in his sleep as he rolled over. What a strange dream, and why did he feel so weird? He shifted and something crinkled. Crinkled? Wait, were those crumbs he felt under his fingertips? He blinked, "Addison?" what was wrong with his voice? He reached for his wife but the bed was empty. Sitting up, he looked around, this wasn't the trailer...

"What the?" the place he was in was a stye. Clothes scattered about, stacks of magazines, pizza boxes. A large surgery textbook rested on the bed. He picked it up. But those weren't his hands, that wasn't his arm, and under that tank top, those weren't his... breasts?

Woozy, Derek stumbled to the bathroom... and almost fainted when he saw who stared back at him in the mirror. "Yang?" he said, feeling smooth skin where there should be stubble. "Okay..." something was definitely wrong. "Okay..." What the hell happened? He was on drugs... Or dreaming. The last thing he remembered was having sex with his wife. They'd shared a bottle of wine...talked... and then...

Something was really really wrong. He should get his blood tested. Or maybe just go back to sleep.

Then the phone rang. "Dammit," he muttered when he saw who it was. Meredith. Should he answer?

That would be... Very interesting. She wouldn't know it was him. He'd be her Person. She'd tell him Person stuff. She'd actually talk to him.

It rang again and he stared at it... If anyone could understand the situation she would. She was strange that way.

It rang again. He was about to answer when it stopped. A second later, it beeped, indicating she left a message.

He paced. Or she paced... Or... Whatever. God he was cold. Why was it so cold in here? He checked the thermostat, regular room temperature. Then he remembered something Addison said about metabolism and body hair. Figures, he thought as he looked down at Yang's petite figure. How was it that her feet were so small?

Focus Shepherd. What to do about this situation?

He decided the best thing to do would be to cancel his surgeries for the day and run tests. Maybe he had a tumor. Or Yang had a tumor... or-

He should also try and find himself, he thought wryly. If he was in Yang's body, then maybe Yang was in his?

Dear God.

He prayed this was a bad dream.

Maybe this was revenge... Addison could've slipped something into his drink. Or maybe it was bad wine. That was it probably. But first things first... he had to find clean scrubs. And probably a bra.

xxx

Meredith hung up the phone. Well, Meredith in Derek's body hung up the phone. "Weird, she didn't answer," she said to herself, or rather George.

"What do we do?" He asked.

She bent her head and rubbed the bridge of Mcdreamy's nose. "I don't know,"

"I feel like this is a really really really bad dream." George said, shaking his head slowly. "I'm gonna wake up any minute and- OW!" He bent over slightly, rubbing his stomach where Meredith poked him. "That... hurt. What did you do that for?"

Meredith shrugged. "Maybe we'd wake up?"

"Oh," he replied, straightening. He blinked, looked around the room, "Nope... we're not waking up." Then he stared, and it was weird, because Meredith didn't stare the way George did and she was watching herself do the George blink-and-stare.

"There has to be a perfectly logical explanation for this," Meredith muttered, pacing. "It's science. Science did this. It's gotta be."

"Or... we were abducted by aliens and they brain-swapped us." George replied flatly.

"Tequila," Meredith said. "Or Acid. Definitely LSD That's what this is. We were poisoned George." She nodded and pounded a fist into her palm. Mcdreamy's palm. Whatever, this sucked.

"I still think it's Aliens. Did you ever watch X-files?"

"X-what?"

"Damn."

She sighed. She wished she'd wake up too. She was in Derek's Freaking body! And why was she so damn hot? Her house was always room temperature and she felt she was running a fever. She pushed a dark bang out of her face. Hair. Had to be all the stupid Mcdreamy hair.

"Oh man..." George said, looking at the alarm clock that had fallen on the floor. "We are so late for rounds."

" _You're_ late for rounds," Meredith grinned. " _I am an attending._ " she smirked.

"Yeah? You ready for the corpus colostomy scheduled for this afternoon?"

She immediately deflated, "Crap."

But her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a blood curdling scream down the hall. From George's room. The two of them rushed over and burst through the door.

George- who obviously wasn't George- stared back at them extremely agitated. "I-I-I- I'M A MAN?" He asked.

The real George (in Mer's body) looked at his body up and down. "Last time I checked, I was... except," and then he stared at the small rise in his (Mer's) chest. "This time?"

"Meredith?" George-not George asked, obviously confused.

"Oh," George in Mer's body pointed to Mer in Derek's body, "I'm not Meredith, she's- uh- he's Meredith."

"Shepherd?" George-not-George stared at Mcdreamy, who wasn't really Mcdreamy.

"Cristina?" Meredith realized. Somehow she just knew. Crap, crap... crap.

"Aliens, Meredith," George said from beside her. "Definitely Aliens."

 **A/N:** So... to sum up, Meredith is in Derek's body. Derek is in Cristina's.

Cristina is in George's and George is in Meredith's. From this point on, When I say Meredith, imagine Mer in Der's body. When I say Derek, imagine him in Cristina's body, etc. I probably will still provide clues etc, but I just don't want people to be frazzled when they read this. So... Yeah. Anyway, that was fun, wasn't it?

Now, for something more Angsty check out **Lost and Found** , or my brand new story **Gone Baby Gone.** Read those and then come back and read this one again. LOL!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** I'm baaack! I didn't forget about this story, I've just been stuck. Now I think I'm unstuck ( a little anyway,)

I did find that reading this a couple times made it funnier.

Here goes! Enjoy!

Recap: Meredith is in Derek's body, Derek is in Cristina's body... Cristina is in George's, and George in Meredith's.

Got it?

.

Derek didn't know what to do with the hair. Cristina's hair was an untamed mane of long black curls down past his shoulders. He figured out enough to brush it, and then he bunched it up together at the back.

Ponytail it was.

Fortunately, he had enough experience from watching his sisters to figure it out for himself. It was just weird actually doing it.

He analysed himself in the mirror, feeling like Cristina was staring at _him,_ not the other way around. "It's passable," he muttered in her voice. "I'm Dr. Yang," he said, then tried it again with a little more fake confidence. "I'm _Dr._ Yang.

"I'm Dr. Yang and I'll be doing your valve replacement," he tried again.

Better. A little.

He grabbed Cristina's Stanford hoodie, phone, and hospital ID and made his way to Seattle Grace.

xxx

"Dr Shep-! Uh, Meredith," George called in Meredith's voice as he followed her down the hall. "What're we... what are we going to do?"

"Yeah," Cristina added, her voice surprisingly snarky and sarcastic coming from George's mouth. "What _are_ we going to do?"

Meredith found herself in the bathroom, staring at the mirror. "What am I gonna do?" she said, staring at the black swirling mass that was now her hair.

Derek's hair. The McHair.

It stuck out in all directions and curled and unfurled and... Normally she liked running her fingers through Derek's hair...

But this was just weird. "George..." she turned to her friend. Her guy friend, who had guy hair. Meredith didn't do guy hair. She barely did girl hair.

"Don't look at me, I'm Cristina!" he snapped.

"Right. Sorry," she turned to herself, "George..." she said, gesturing to her head. "What do I do with this?"

"Hair? You're worried about hair? How can you be worried about hair at a time like this? I'm you, you're Shepherd... and," George swallowed and whispered, "she's me," he thumbed at Cristina, who stuck her tongue out at him and rolled her eyes.

"I-uh-um.." Uncertainty sounded strange coming from a top neurosurgeon with bed head. But why did everyone look at her to figure this out? How did she become defacto leader?

She really wanted tequila, like a lot of it.

Thankfully Cristina rescued her. Sort of. "Look," she said, "Shepherd is the freaking head of Neurosurgery, if we're going to figure this out, the best place to do it is at the hospital, and if we're going to the hospital, Meredith has to look like she has her act together."

"Hey!" Meredith swatted at Cristina, "Are you implying-"

"We're interns! None of us have our act together. Well, I have more of it together than you two dimwits..."

"Shut up," Meredith rolled her eyes, "and go put some pants on," she looked down at George's heart patterned boxers.

Cristina followed her gaze downward, and pulled a very Georgish, "Oh..." before glaring at them both and quickly exiting.

"Well?" Meredith looked at herself in the mirror. "George?" she pleaded, propping one arm up with the other and playing with a loose dark curl. Her stance made Derek look very effeminate.

"Uh, well, guys use combs..."

xxx

Derek shuffled through a backdoor to the hospital. Thankfully, his newfound status as a lowly intern had it's perks. Where usually upon entering, he was harangued by interns asking questions, residents wanting surgeries and nurses updating him on patients, now he was nobody.

Derek gulped. He hadn't been nobody in a long time.

He just had to get to Radiology. Figure out how to bribe a tech to give him a brain scan... and then process a blood sample.

Easy, right?

He decided to start with the blood sample. Slipping into a supply closet, he picked up the necessary supplies. He could probably just draw the blood right here, he thought as he snapped the tourniquet.

But before he could even begin, the door swung open. "What are you doing here?" A deep voice boomed.

xxx

"We're really doing this?" George asked from the backseat of Meredith's Jeep as they entered the parking lot of the hospital "Couldn't we call in sick? We should call in sick," he said as stared down at his new body.

"I've never called in sick to work. Ever." Cristina retorted, glaring at George. "And stop touching your boobs! It's... just wrong!

"George! Don't touch my boobs!" Meredith yelled, then looked over at her passenger, Cristina in George's body. "What?"

"Do you know how weird it is seeing Shepherd yell at you for touching his boobs?"

"You realize, that if we don't figure this thing out, you'll be stuck in Bambi's body for life, right?" she said.

"Yes..." Cristina said forlornly.

"Good."

"Meredith?" George asked from the backseat.

She turned to him as he leaned forward, "You have nice boobs," he whispered, nodding.

"Ass!" Without thinking, her hand whipped around and she slapped him, hard.

"Ow!"

"Holy..." Cristina muttered.

"Crap!" Meredith exclaimed. "I just slapped myself!"

xxx

"Cristina," Burke called, "I thought it was your day off."

"Uh..." Derek stared up at the much much taller man. How strange to physically look up at Burke. He stared at the stuff in his hands. For once in his life, he was at a loss for words. "Er... ah,"

"Of course," Burke said, with a wry smile, "You're Dr. Yang. You don't take days off."

Yes. Right. He was Dr. _Yang_.

But before he could come up with something to say, Burke was leaning forward, tilting his head, his gaze on his lips...

"Gah!" Derek pushed Burke away and slipped past him. "Uh..." he turned his back against the door and pressed. "Uh... Sorry Burke, I'm Dr. Yang... and I have, I have surgeries! Yes! Many surgeries to do, because... I am... Dr. Yang," he said, pointing upwards. Whirling about, he didn't wait to see Burke's expression before he dashed off to the elevator.

"Oh..." he sighed as he pressed the button several times. That was... awkward to say the least.

The elevator dinged and he stepped inside, staring at his feet. And then he noticed a very familiar pair of shoes. Jimmy Choos.

"Dr. Yang," Addison greeted. "I thought it was your day off?"

He cleared his throat. "I'm Dr. Yang... I don't take days off," he choked out, repeating Burke's earlier characterization.

"Of course," she said, looking up from the chart she'd been reading. "Have you seen my husband? He acted really weird this morning."

Of course he was acting weird. He woke up in someone else's body.

He woke up in someone's else's body.

Who woke up in his body?

"Addison," he said.

She raised an eyebrow, "That's a little presumptuous, don't you think Dr. Yang?"

Derek sighed and ran a hand through his hair only to get it stuck. "Sorry," he muttered. "Have you seen Meredith?"

"No. Have you seen Derek?"

"Uh... no." Dammit, he had to find Meredith. Or Himself. One or the other. What the hell was going on?

xxx

"So what's the plan again?" George asked Meredith and Cristina as they sat on the bench in the locker room.

"We cancel all my surgeries, and I request you as my interns, and then... I don't know, we run blood samples? Scans?"

"Shotgun ourselves? That's crazy."

"Seriously, what else can we do? I'm really freaking out here." She leaned forward, propping her elbows on her knees and lifted a hand to run it through her hair.

George's fat wrist grabbed hers. "Stop it," Cristina said. "You'll mess up the hair."

"What in the heavens is going on in here?" A familiar voice bellowed.

"Bailey!" George dropped his stethoscope.

"Um," Meredith looked up as Cristina pulled her hand away.

"What are you doing in _here,_ Shepherd? And what the _hell_ did you do to your hair?"

xxx

 **A/N:** I know, I know... you want more. I will try my best to update again soon. If this made you laugh, please review!


	4. Chapter 4

_Meanwhile:_

A white van pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. The sunroof opened and there was a whir as a device rose out of it. A satellite dish appeared and spun, like some sort of odd detector, beeping and humming.

Inside the van, a large man tapped some buttons. "Agent P to Agent A. Do you read?" He asked, speaking into a radio.

"Loud and clear, P."

"Any progress on finding Excerebro Scrambellicus?"

"Attempting to check hospital records, P..." she paused on the other end.

"A?"

"It's the Nazi and a _squad_ of interns... and oh..."

"What?"

"Sorry, I was distracted by an attending with... Awful hair. Very handsome, though... Kinda dreamy..." She sighed. "I could be his intern any day..."

"Reed!"

"Sorry! and it's agent A remember?"

"Whatever. We have to focus if we want to find Scrambellicus before J and K do, alright?"

"Of course. What should I do?"

"Hang on, I've hacked into their personnel files. We've got an agent on the inside, Big Bird. She may be able to help us." He tapped some buttons on the screen, and an image of a smiling resident came up. "Goes by... Heron. I'm sending her pic now." He clicked 'send.'

" OK," I'll get back to you as soon as I have more info."

"Roger."

"Over and out."

xxx

"Let me get this straight..." Bailey pointed a pen at Meredith, who was currently inhabiting Mcdreamy- er Dr. Shepherd's body. "You want to cancel _all_ your surgeries today?"

Meredith cleared her throat and tried her best Derek impression, "uh, yes."

"Even the corpus colostomy scheduled this afternoon?"

Meredith leaned against the counter and nodded. "Yes."

"And you've booked up the CT and the MRI for the next four hours?"

She looked Bailey up and down, and tried to be smug. And a little flirty. Like Derek was when she fell for him. Not that she wanted Bailey to fall for him, but... She wanted to do the thing. The Mcdreamy thing... "Mm-hmm, yes." She tried.

Bailey shook her head. "And you want Grey. And Yang? It's Yang's day off."

Crap..."uh..." She stammered. She needed Cristina. Well she had Cristina, in George's body, but she'd come to the conclusion that it was quite possible that Derek was in Cristina's body. Which was... "Ow!" She exclaimed, turning around.

" Sorry, Dr. Shepherd, Bailey... But I never... I mean Cristina never takes a day off anyway." Cristina in George's body said.

" Yeah," added George in Meredith's body. "She's Dr. Yang, she never takes a day off."

"Right?" Meredith pleaded.

"Yang?" another voice said, accompanied by the click- clack heels that she knew too well. Addison. Crap. Crap crap crap. McMeredith looked up, down, around... Anywhere but at Addison. "I just saw her in the elevator. Eager to work, that one."

"Great! I'll have her paged!" She whirled around, knocking into her entourage, "thanks for all your help Bailey!" She pushed through her friends awkwardly, trying to get as

"Now hold on, I did not approve-"

"Derek!" Addison called after them. "We have to talk!"

"Super secret study!" Meredith hustled along to the elevator. "Can't talk now, we'll talk about this later..."

"Derek Christopher Shepherd!"

"Bye!" It was too late, and much to Meredith's relief, the elevator door closed.

xxx

Derek in Cristina's body tapped his foot while he waited for the elevator. He'd managed to escape both Burke and Addsion and drop off a vial of his blood to the lab.

Or was it her blood? Whatever.

Now he just had to find Meredith.

Or himself.

Or take a scan of his brain. He sighed, and entered the empty elevator. It pulled up to the third floor and the door opened. "Meredith!"

She looked behind her, and then ran her hands over her body. Derek swallowed.

"Oh. Uh... that's me," she said, " but it's not. Now, which one are you? Because I'm George in Mere's body, and Cristina's in my body, Mere's in... Wait."

Derek blinked. What was Meredith yapping about? He really just wanted to kiss her. But check it, Shepherd, he told himself. He wasn't in his own body.

"Please tell me you're Dr. Shepherd..." She said.

"Yes," he croaked. So this thing affected more than just him?

"Oh thank God..."she said, looking very relieved. "Because we just took some scans...And there is something very, very, wrong with our brains."

"Oh," he managed. Meredith looked... Well she looked...

"Dr. Shepherd? Are you alright? You look... hungry."

Derek shook his head. "I'm fine... Fine. O'Mere, I mean O'Malley. C'mon. I dropped a blood sample at the lab an hour ago. It should be ready."

xxx

A shadow crept through the tunnels, and a tiny red-haired agent slid along the wall."This is Agent K," she whispered into her wristwatch. "I have infiltrated Seattle Grace, and am attempting to gain access to a staff badge via bamboozling."

"Copy that," the smooth voice said on the other side. "I too, have found a target. Radio silence for 15 minutes."

"10-4" said Agent K. She tucked her radio in her pocket and peered around the corner at her target, a blonde leggy intern, deep in study, eating a cupcake. Bamboozling an opponent required her to be up close. So Agent K improvised. "Help!" She called out, clutching her throat... "I can't -," she gasped, stepping out so the intern would notice her. "Can't breathe!" she flailed dramatically, catching the eye of the intern.

"Oh my God!" The intern cried out, noticing the woman in seemingly dire straights. "Are you alright? It's okay... I'm a doctor-" she rushed over

Agent K clutched her throat and made choking noises, "can't... can't breathe!" She spun 360 degrees and dropped to the floor in pretend agony.

"It's alright! I can help!" The blonde rushed forward falling for the agent's trap. As soon as she got close enough, the agent pulled out a slim device and pulled the trigger. The blonde launched backwards, landed on the floor and jittered.

When she stopped, Agent K stood over her. "Hi, you've just been bamboozled. Now, remember, you're not a doctor, you're a patient. Your name is April... and you've just been admitted because... you're a hypochondriac. Now, you need to get back to your room, 213B. Oh, and you hate cupcakes... and anything cupcakey. Got it?"

"Yes," she said in a strange monotone voice.

"Good," Agent K smiled. "Can I have my badge now?"

"Here you go," the blonde smiled and handed over the badge.

"And the coat."

"Oh yeah," she giggled. "I'm not a doctor, I'm a hypochondriac. I really should go to my room now. Here, have a cupcake, they're delicious but I hate them."

"Thank you," said Agent K as she looked at the name badge. 'Isobel Stevens, Surgical'. Perfect. Now she just had to Meet up with Agent J and find Excerebro Scrambellicus before everything went to hell.


End file.
